February 2010 Archives

In which your host goes all Phineas Fogg:

1. What curse word do you use the most?
For everyday purposes, it's almost certainly "shit." I reserve "fuck" for occasions requiring a greater emotional commitment.

2. Do you own an iPod?
No. You may gasp in horror now.

3. What person do you talk to the most?
That'd be Kelly, though I spend more time talking to my classes than is probably good for me.

4. What time is your alarm clock set to?
Since my classes begin at varying hours, this changes daily. Typically it's between 6:30 and 7:30.

5. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Yep. On the way home from the Carolina Theater, in front of my dad's office.

6. Do you remember where you were on 9/11/01?
Oh, yeah. It was the day students were arriving for school, and I was at my desk prepping for class, checking in at Readerville.com when RML typed "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center in NYC. I'm watching it burn live on CNN. Awful." Five minutes later, at 6:07 a.m., he posted "A second plane just crashed into the other tower!!!" and then "This was deliberate." My first post of the thread read, in its entirety, "Oh, shit."

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Depends what it's a picture of. I like to capture images of things I'm seeing, but I'm a bit of a ham, too.

8. What was the last movie you watched?
In theaters, "The Wolfman." On DVD, "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang."

9. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes. Some of my friends ARE children.

10. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Sloths call me lazy.

11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
Some medications I take for other reasons make me drowsy--antihistamines for preventing nighttime sniffles, for example--but the soporific effect is a secondary matter.

12. What cd is currently in your cd player?
Time and Tide by Split Enz, though technically I'm listening to the copy of the CD that now lives in my hard drive.

13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Regular.

14. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Not in so many words. But there are probably things I shouldn't be spreading around.

15. When was the last time you had Starbucks?
Unlike most Americans, I don't live near one, so visits are few and far between. It was probably sometime around Christmas.

16. Can you whistle?
Yes. Through my lips. Through my teeth. And even through my curled tongue, though its range is very limited.

17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
That they're opposite. C'mon, I work at a boy's school.

18. What are you looking forward to?
Spring break. The trip to Big Bend National Park that's part of spring break is big, too, but not being at work is at the point the major attraction.

19. Did you watch cartoons as a child?
I'm pretty sure Mel Blanc spoke to me more often than some of my teachers.

20. Do you own any band t-shirts?
I still have a few, but most have been worn out, discarded, or passed on to the kinder. I kind of miss my old black Yes shirt with the blue Roger Dean lettering, if only because it confused a lot of people who didn't know about the band.

21. What will you be doing in one hour?
Teaching. Either Student Congress or The Great Gatsby.

22. Is anyone in love with you?
Yep.

23. What was the last song you heard?
"Make Sense of It" by Split Enz

24. When was the last time you cried?
I've become more affected by cheap sentimentality as I've grown older, so I probably misted up a bit during a movie.

25. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
Laptop, but it's currently on my desk, linked to my SmartBoard, speakers, mouse, and ergonomic keyboard.

26. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
No and no. I don't object to others', but it's not gonna happen to me.

27. What's the weather like?
Partly cloudy, somewhat warmer than it has been; maybe it'll be in the fifties today. Our giant fields and mountains of snow are doing a slow melt, but I don't foresee them disappearing anytime soon.

28. Would you ever date a girl/guy covered in tattoos?
Not since I got married.

29. What did you do before this?
Writing conferences with students.

30. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
I slept on an air mattress on the floor in Richmond last summer, I believe.

31. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
Eight is great, seven is good, six is necessary. I can function for a single day on four, but anything less than that and I may as well be pulling an all-nighter.

32. Do you eat breakfast daily?
Of course. It's the most important meal of the day.

33. Are your days fast-paced?
Boy howdy. I'm frankly amazed that I've had time to answer 33 of these questions.

34. What did you do last night?
Critiqued some students' presentation of a sketch for our diversity workshop this Saturday, then went to the dorm to supervise study hall, graded a bunch of papers, and watched a little of the US/China curling match before driving home and falling asleep.

35. Do you use sarcasm?
No. It's a pointless exercise.

36. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
The big 4-7.

37. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
I'm professionally picky about spelling and grammar.

38. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I went to Six Flags Over Georgia when I was about eleven.

39. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
I see a lot more males, thanks to my job, but I've always gotten along very well with females. With me, getting along usually depends a lot more on nerd/jock than male/female.

40. Do you like mustard?
Many, many kinds.

41. Do you sleep on your side?
Yes, though I sometimes end up on my back.

42. Do you watch the news?
Not for years. We don't have working TV reception.

43. How did you get one of your scars?
I scraped my knuckles on the bottom of the pool at the Chapel Hill Tennis Club, and it left a scar.

44. Who was the last person to make you mad?
A student. Yes, that's a generic answer. It's meant to be.

45. Do you like anybody?
Some more than others, certainly.

46. What is the last thing you purchased?
I got a bagel with cheese and bacon at the Fir Tree snack bar last night.

47. What side of the heart do you draw first?
The left.

48. Can you dive without plugging your nose?
Yes. I use nose plugs when rolling a kayak, if possible.

49. What color is your razor?
Blue

50. What is your blood-type?
O+

51. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Someone fairly light or very cooperative; I'd want to be able to move him/her around if necessary.

52. What is a rumor someone has spread about you?
That I was conducting an affair with a colleague; I was actually hanging around with her because she's my cousin and I've known her since I was ten.

53. How do you feel about carrots?
Yes, please.

54. How many chairs at the dining room table?
Four.

55. Which is the best Spice Girl?
In relative terms, I'll go with Scary.

56. Do you know what time it is?
Does anybody really know what time it is?

57. Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?
I don't know ANY of the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song.

58. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Press the emergency button, use the emergency phone, look for a way out, and begin thinking uncomfortable thoughts about urination.

59. What's your favorite kind of gum?
I don't chew a lot. Probably Trident.

60. T or F: All's fair in love and war?
False. If you'd do anything for love, what might you do to the person you're in love with?

61. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Why the singular?

62. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
Orange gibbon bucket water and plastic.

63. Do you like to sleep?
Yes. I'm just not that good at it.

64. Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings Time?
Arizona doesn't (except for the Navajo reservation), and I think part of Indiana doesn't, either.

65. Do you know the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?
The literalized video version, yes. "And they shouldn't fence at night/ Or they're gonna hurt the gymnasts..."

66. Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
Sure, if you've got one.

67. What's something you've always wanted?
To visit Australia and New Zealand.

68. Do you have hairy LEGS?
Parts of them, yes.

69. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Ocean

70. Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes, but not exclusively.

71. Describe your hair:
Brown, thick, wavy, a little grayer and thinner up front than it used to be.

72. Do you have Entomophobia?
No. I don't always like them, but I don't fear them.

73. Are you an adult?
Legally.

74. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
At home.

75. Do you have a tan?
Not at the moment.

76. Are you a television addict?
No. Don't ask me about the internet.

77. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
I do indeed.

78. Are you a sugar freak?
I have a sweet tooth, but it's under control.

79. Do you like orange juice?
Yes.

80. What sign are you?
Pisces


9:13 AM

I haven't talked much about birding lately, despite the mass of avian activity at my seed and suet feeders during the recent Snowmageddon. (No, we haven't seen any grass since the fall of January 30th, thanks, and some of it's been covered since the big December 18th storm.) What passes for interesting in my neck of the woods these days is the small knot of common grackles that has descended upon my yard, the pair of downy woodpeckers making use of my suet baskets, and the occasional glimpse of a common raven or a red-shouldered hawk searching for a steady food supply. I'm still planning a trip to the Eastern Shore in early March, hoping to catch a few wintering Snow Geese, and in mid-March I'll be making my long-awaited trip to Big Bend National Park.

Still, for the moment, unless you're interested in the plethora of cardinals, juncos, and white-throated sparrows out back, the best I can do is hand you over to another birder, one far more knowledgeable than I: Tim Gallagher, editor of Living Bird magazine and author of The Grail Bird: The Rediscovery of the Ivory-billed Woodpecker, who has an intriguing story about an exotic, spectacular, and, sadly, most likely extinct bird of a sort you've probably never seen.

Enjoy his tale of a museum specimen and an old man's memory of Mexico's Imperial Woodpecker.

There. That should keep any birders out there satisfied until the weather breaks.


4:26 PM

I am married to lady who is full of awesome sauce.

If you've met her, you already know this, but if you need further evidence, take a look at this week's latest variation on  a theme:



That there is my Valentine's Day present, a copy of the long out-of-print book of Norse mythology written and illustrated by Ingri and Edgar Parin d'Aaulaire. When I snagged it in the Glenwood Elementary School library sometime around 1971, it was called D'Aulaires' Norse Gods and Giants, and I devoured it just the way I had devoured their earlier work, D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths. My appetite for folk tales and mythology was enormous in those days, and led to my eventual feasting in the realms of heroic fantasy, science fiction, and even such respectable literary works as Beowulf and Antigone. Obviously, once I had children of my own, it took me very little time to rush out and secure for them a copy of the d'Aulaires' Greek book, with many words of rapturous description for Kelly about how much the kids would love their stuff.

But the Norse book? Out of print.

Dejected, I started searching for used copies. Most seemed to be running about 75 bucks, which is a bit pricey for something you're going to put in the mysteriously sticky hands of a four-year-old. I sighed and resigned myself to tracking down other versions of the Norse stories, many of which turned up in places like Neil Gaiman's Sandman comics.

But, as I said, I am married to a woman full of awesome sauce. This became apparent last night when she handed me the package she'd been awaiting in the mail for weeks. It's a brand-new hardback copy of the now-retitled D'Aulaires Book of Norse Myths (had it not been retitled, her mad catalogue skillz would probably have brought it to me some years earlier) back in print and now in its fifth edition, and it features the not-inconsiderable attraction  of an introduction by Michael Chabon, who like me first came across the book in the early seventies at an impressionable age and was sent off into the realms of Marvel comics and various other bits of modern mythology before starting to work out his own.

Sure, maybe tales about the world being licked into being out of a patch of salty ice or wolves biting off gods' hands or deceitful demigods giving birth to eight-legged horses may not strike YOU as terribly romantic, but if there's one thing I've learned in over two decades of marriage, it's that love is idiosyncratic. Thank the gods for that.


10:42 AM

I'm back from the Food Lion, where the combined mass of the shoppers assembled for this weekend's blizzard-cum-Super Bowl festivities was apparently so great that it ripped open a hole in the fabric of time.


Yes, I'm holding a box of Quisp. A staple of my childhood, this corn-and-oats cereal benefited from both a satisfyingly sugary flavor and some terrific Jay Ward animation for its commercials. (In the latter, Quisp's voice was provided by the legendary Daws Butler, who also did the voices for Yogi Bear, Snagglepuss, and Cap'n Crunch, among others.)  Quaker Oats first released Quisp (and its counterpart, Quake) in 1965, so I was right smack in its demographic sweet spot, and as soon as I learned to recognize brand names, I demanded it regularly, preferring its flying saucer shapes to the grommet-shaped nuggets in Quake.

In the early 70s, however, trouble started brewing. A nationwide poll to determine which character was more popular gave Quisp the victory--not surprising, as a propeller-headed alien is bound to appeal to kids more than a big lummox in a hard hat--but as a result of this popularity contest, poor Quake was given a Trotsky-like dismissal from power and sent into exile in the mines whence he had sprung. (Quake emerged later in a new incarnation, working with a kangaroo named Simon as the mascots for my all-time favorite ceral, Orange Quangaroos, but he was clearly only a shell of himself.)


4:49 PM

Re: the systolic/diastolic metaphor

Yesterday I finished my short story and submitted it.

I guess once I got the venting out of the way, I could get back to the writing.

I'll have to keep that in mind.


9:16 PM