Geek Out

Back in 2005, I took The Geek Test. I scored 44.97041%, making me technically a Major Geek, but well within the range of statistical error for being a Super Geek.

Incensed by the test's over-emphasis on computer-based geekery and failure to appreciate other geekish pursuits in sufficient depth, I immediately wrote a list of things with which I could prove my geekiness, but which weren't on the test. As you can imagine, my geekiness HAS ONLY INCREASED in the last decade--and the test has been updated, at least as of 2010--but here's what I came up with in 2005:

I know:

*all 13 dwarves who go with Bilbo in The Hobbit
*who the Big Three of science fiction are
*the names of the books on which Blade Runner and Total Recall were based
*both the order in which the Chronicles of Narnia were published and the order in which the stories occur
*the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything
*what "galad" means in both Sindarin and Quenya
*what Sindarin and Quenya are
*the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow
*what is best in life (according to Conan the Barbarian)
*the entire membership of the Legion of Super-Heroes
*which writer/artist created each of the X-Men

I have:
*worked tech on over a dozen theatrical productions
    *worked sound
    *worked lights
    *designed a set
    *designed a light plot
    *hung a lightshow
*appeared onstage in over a dozen theatrical productions
    *appeared onstage in a singing role
    *appeared onstage in a devil costume
    *appeared onstage with a bullwhip
    *appeared onstage in my underwear
*played the guitar in front of a paying audience
*played the piano in front of a paying audience
*sung in front of a paying audience
*spent time birdwatching
*spent money to go birdwatching
    *persuaded other people to go birdwatching
    *adjusted travel plans in order to go birdwatching
*> 10 Terry Pratchett books
    *> 20 Terry Pratchett books
    *a Terry Pratchett map
*written a critique of a comic book
    *been paid for critiquing a comic book
    *had a comic-book critique published
        *more than once
*a wife who has
    *an English degree
    *a job in a library
    *an obsessive knowledge of Joss Whedon TV shows
        *Buffy the Vampire Slayer paraphernalia
                *yes, even the little Lego-style ones
            *soundtrack CDs
    *scored over 40% on this test
*two children who have
    *the ability to quote at length from geek movies/shows
        *The Critic
    *more than one videogaming system
        *on more than one videogaming platform
    *played D&D, Warhammer, Civilization, and fantasy football
*more than one fantasy football team
*kept vinyl albums that I also own on CD because I like the cover art
*more than one album by Yes
*more than one album by Barenaked Ladies
*more than one album by XTC
*no albums at all by Britney Spears, the Grateful Dead, Bryan Adams, or 50 Cent
*all three Wallace & Gromit shorts
*the extended ubergeek editions of all three Lord of the Rings movies

I can:
*say "I don't speak Welsh" in Welsh
*say "I don't speak French" in French
*rebut the major anti-Stratfordian arguments
*recite from memory:
    *lines from Shakespeare
    *an entire Robert Frost poem
    *the list of U.S. Presidents in order
    *Monty Python's "Argument Clinic" sketch
    *how to draw Trogdor the Burninator
*sing all the words to:
    *Monty Python's "Philosopher's Song"
    *The Ballad of Sir Robin
    *the Stonecutters' Song from The Simpsons
    *the CGNU Fight Song
    *every song from the "Once More with Feeling" musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    *"They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha"
*move Monopoly pieces directly to the proper square without counting each space
*probably find something better to do with my time than this

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This page contains a single entry by Peter Cashwell published on April 28, 2015 8:58 PM.

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